Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Like Ben John Smith -7/05/2014


talks about the love in his life
shit scared as if by speaking about it
someone'll come snatch
that feeling away from him

Ben John Smith 
is not a performer
you can't rehearse sincerity
and it's not a matter of half measures
pausing a little bit pregnant

hurts when he reads his poetry
out to you, has to force the words
from off his unrolled shaky pages
a clenched fist self incriminating
pitiful confession
of what would've otherwise been
a perfect crime

we never would have caught you 
no one ever would have noticed
y'woulda gotten away with it

and I don't know
if it's that you don't like yourself
or you just don't like
your own sincerity

if I knew
how to make
having a sit-down cigarette
next to a dead animal
something beautiful
or just good
I would
steal this from you
and run

and I would never give it back
you give away your work
none of it calculated or deliberate
it's not trying to get laid
or preach a lesson on
reaching twenty-million
trauma-porn prophet
not  white-knight Goddess
so much cookie-cutter
rhetoric candy-coating
safely aping others style

not polishing up your act
bitching about the musical chairs
and first placing-prizes
in a world the size of Monday night
at a bar, late

you make me remember
back to a bad-sex time
when poetry would hurt
when y'would make yourself...

Ben John Smith
a self made man

we listen to you flagellate lies
out of us all altogether
a super aggregate
sacrificial Jesus fuck guilt magnet

I wish speaking didn't hurt you so much
wish your writing would lie sometimes
I know you can't make it

no word of a lie
I have bad dreams
subconsciously threatened by
visits from other professional poets
more apparently career successful
than my workaday self
most of them are nice to me
in my dreams

unlike all of them
Ben avoided scoring out of ten
dosent spell so good
hugs as though he means it
and never gives me nightmares

tell you I would rather
try fucking someone
without using my hands
than write open honesty
if these wall could talk
I would paint over them

I don't want to be Ben John Smith
I'm not sure sometimes
that he does either, but
and I'm not alone here
I am very grateful

that he is.


Check out Ben's work at:



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