Friday, January 25, 2013

The Blemish on Musgrave Park -January 26th 2013


I had to demolish your tent embassy
Just before Christmas
couldn’t let you
enshrine my indifference
over the holidays

what’s the problem?
we already got a day
to do that

I recognised your right to exist
like forty five years ago
stopped stealing your children
not long after that

I apologised four years back
recognised your fifty thousand years
in the last twenty
what's the problem with that?

why are you trying to make me feel bad
about things
I have

why we are we still even talking about this
why use words like peace
it’s not like I ever declared war on you
more than a handful of times

can’t you get over it
can’t you be more like me
can't you keep things tidy
can’t you stop crying
can’t you stop bleeding
can’t you get out the way
can’t you just
somewhere else

I’m trying to have a barbecue here

what's the problem with that?


I love my country enough
that I have to believe
it can withstand the truth about itself

I'm not out celebrating today
I'd like to say it's in solidarity
with my few indigenous friends
and all the great people I've me and worked with
over the years

but you'd smell bullshit on me
and hypocrisy can leave some real nasty stains

I'm just too hungover



Sunday, January 20, 2013

Underneath Their Feet -20/01/2013


we are down there
out of bounds

where we truly
own our own shadows
and can't fall any further
from grace
than the dark gives us

over-a-fence escapism
underneath your feet

we are 
safely beyond regulation
beyond your sanity
sanitised ease of access
or creature comforts

we are down there
beyond those you have bought
or otherwise kept
under your control
we are instead
below your control

exploring what's there
out of your grasp
and carrying our torches

so you can't keep us in the dark




Wednesday, January 16, 2013

When I grow up I want to be a new year -14/01/2013


last year
I was asked to play the part of myself
for a TV show
and somehow did a bad job of that

last year filled with fear
until it spilt over
into a hospital room
where no one came to visit
except my demons

they didn't bring flowers

collecting injuries
double column indignities
last year I went into red
counting out who owes me
what I've done for them
and all I did
was make myself
additionally miserable

last year looked a bad boss
dead in his eye and said
go fuck yourself

lost that job
the way you lose keys
lose track of time
or lose your patience

I found love
the L word at last
then lost that too
somehow it slipped off
by trying to hold on
to all that unwashed anger
and heavy resentments
carried the long-distance
we crossed to find each other

last year
I tried flirting with disaster
til she called me creepy
and slapped me in the face

2012 was a long story
heart strung-out
teeth first foul mouthed
going down the wrong way
and it sucked

because I let it
had an attitude too small for it
shrunk inside starving off
my unswallowed pride

last year
as my body struggled to heal
under haemophiliac inhibition
and clots of half arse career sit-in
three hundred and sixty five suns
fired warning shots across the sky
cautioning for me to look up
to uncloud my judgement

stop trying to use
internal bruises
to prove external causes
to stop being half a poet
and stop burning bridges
over the holes I dug myself into

to stop trying to act like myself

so I dug deeper
found the map back
buried below all my mistakes
directions written
on the back of the calendar
in my own bad handwriting
mis-spelling out
that we most always
can mark a path forward
month by month
from our mistakes

followed it through
to find her there
she'd been waiting
for me to grow
and out of that hole

it was December thirty first
got there soon as I could
she took my hand
and we busted out
of last year
like a jail break
saying, this year

let's make it better.




Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Rest Assured -10/01/2013


know it seems strange to you
to live so much inside things I write
then dispose of online

for what it's worth
I don't see much sense
In the ways your life is lived

my silence feels fictional
from the inside
a strangleheld scream
not to be buried alive
in another lost moment

I'm chasing after truth
even if to you
it looks like I'm trying to bite
my own left ear

don't have the smarts it takes
to be less vulnerable
I think out loud
in dumb questions
and wrong answers

and only afraid in public
so I don't have to be

in private




no you are -09/01/2013


Used to argue with my father
'cause it was the only way
we could actually connect

beginning to wonder now
if this isn't becoming true
of how I relate
to everybody else

so if I don't bite back at you
it's not out of diplomacy
or born from some hard-found wisdom
not because I'm a nice guy

I just don't have anything to invest in you

and I might be poorer for that
not sure

economy isn't my strong suit

...just ask Dad.


Well, with my over-arching (and always slighty pretensious) end of year poem still stubbornly refusing to finish itself, today I figured I'd just sticky tape a bunch if tweets together, and get 2013 rolling here.

This seems an appropriately inappropriate way begin. 'Mad quixotic hubris' ...see I waited all last year to have an excuse yo use that phrase. Never came up. Typical 2012 bullshit. So glad you and your Mayan prophecies are out if my life.