Monday, July 13, 2009

Not With You At You -19/06/2009


Latching on to that laughter,
Like it’s a life raft,
And you can get out that water you were in,
Laughing at those sharks,
Who were trying to bite you in half.

And if you capsize,
You can laugh yourself back the right side up,
Laugh as if there really is enough left,
In that half-empty cup,
Laugh at the half-empty everywhere,
Drinking it up!

Chuckle like a slip over a sly word,
But laugh politely,
At the black cloud with a tongue silver-lining,
Laugh while freaks lick the smile off your cheeks,
With whipped cream in their own wet dreams.

Laugh like the error-mongers with ledgers,
Are sitting right there on your window ledge,
Vampires sucking up your follies and ignoring theirs.

Laugh like you’re on the gas,
Having a gas,
You’re a laughing ass,
Loving every minute of it,
But now unable to stop it.

Laugh at the milk gone funny in the fridge,
And laugh at your own shakes,
Your loneliness-baked brain,
Sittin' here with ya cans of baked beans,
Which means …ahahahahahahaha!

Hehe... ha,
Laugh irrationally at that rash,
An itch you let get way too scratched,
Argh haha,
Laugh at that long time since that phone last rang,
Laugh at the cold comforts from the coffee cup.

Laugh at them funny looks you get,
Laugh nervous covering nervous laughter,
Man you’re a disaster!
Not waiting to happen.

Laugh at the pains lining your face,
Laugh in laughter’s place,
Standing in due to... sickness,
Laugh your life, your love,
At losses,
Laugh it off- that you’re a loser.

Laugh as it all comes undone,
And come on down!

Like that’s a virtue,
Or I’ll hurt you,
Then laugh,
‘til it hurts you.

Yeah laugh,
And you keep laughing,
I said laugh, fucker,



Couple a'things:
Of all the redux', this one's the most extensive, with little of the original remaining. I intended it to be a decidely dark poem, but it was a little misconstrued in its original form. I don't know -opens up lots of dilemmas, accepting that something once unleashed, belongs to its audience (and not try to prescribe how people interpret your stuff).

I'm remembering that creepy little shit Ian McBryde telling me not to laugh at one of his poems, and me sneering back that it's no longer his once read out, but now here I am kind of doing the same thing.

The answer of course, is that I need to be a better (clearer) writer. I definately wrote it for peformance -to be heard more than read -especially in the redux version, with cackling in an increasingly manic way that just wouldn't read here. Page v Stage... a whole other topic, and anyway, enough thinking out-loud, though I welcome anyone's thoughts on the above.

As always, thanks for reading.



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