This is feeling vaguely reminiscent of those times I was pointedly dared into...
1) Proving I couldn't (infact) run head-first into the student lockers in high school, or
2) Doing as many one-arm pushups as possible in the middle of that Monash Freeway overpass before the truck runs over me, or
3) Drinking the glass of beer even though I knew they'd poured an ash tray into it while I wasn't looking,
...once being foolish enough to confess on facebook that I am currently ailed, I was veritably taunted and challenged (dare I say tormented) into writing something, so as to capture that imagined fevour dream-demented-irasible-mercurial-irrational-tortured-anguished state of mind I must be in while sick.
Well, in the spirit of Anno Hideka's End of Evangelion and many other screenplay/novel favourites of mine, I decided to give the public everything they asked for but in the wrongest-way possible.
The title has been stolen from Geoff Lemon (hi Geoff!)
Writing = Vocation = Constant Work = Any excuse for a break = Tonsilittus = Headache + Swollen jugular + Sore throat = Cripplingly debilitating illness = Cancelling schedule + Couch + Stripy pyjamas + Watching shitty DVD extra features + Leisurely jerking off + Tackling pile of as-yet-unlistened to-CDs + Irregular eating X Junk food + Random napping / Fuck the phone off already + Ran out of clean dishes yesterday + What day is it - Ah shit I can't call in sick to work 'cause it's casual and I live on the skin of my teeth as it is X (fuckshit!) + Why would any of this be inspiring / Any interest to anyone else + I'm in a bad mood now + How dare you suggest my life isn't inspiring enough normally = My inference of such above anyway + Hitting weakspot + My computer makes an annoying noise that might indeed aggravate headache = At least that's my excuse X An eternal and now distended love of Ferris Buellers Day Off - The hairstyles - the Ferarri being destroyed / Alan Ruck X Charlie Sheen's cameo that everyone forgets is there 'til they watch it / ('cept me ahahaha!) + You've stopped reading ages back = Or are at best scanning = Skimming / Looking for additional laughs X Deconstructionalist + Stupid suggestion / I'll write how and when and why I fucking please X Thank you very much folks = you get the idea + ? (= question mark)
+ There, you fucking happy now? - Trace of irony.
I haven't actually checked the see if the equation completely cancels out or balances, I just hope you all feel as dirty as I do. That'll learn ya for making well-intentioned and innocent suggestions about my writing habits.
You just be glad I didn't attach a picture to this blog... oh boy.
Well, what the hell did you expect? Fear and Loathing in Tropic of on the Road in the Rye. Fuck you! I need rest ...and a cute nurse!
(throws snow globe or other highly symbolic thing at door just as you slam it shut on your way out!)