Friday, May 17, 2013

BREASTS! -New Video performing at JamPar Poetry Brisbane (+ Conduit Arts gig TONIGHT!) -18/05/2013


The infamous mammary glandular rant by Randy (text follows below -so you can sing along at home). Edited by Alex Scott. Performed as part of feature I did for the lovely folks up in Brisbane last year.

if you are not seeing a playable video window click here for a direct YouTube link


breasts are the best oh yes
I'm talking about breasts
and the time has now come to confess
how impressed I am with their shape
their firmness
there's really no contest
for where else my eyes could get


and ah it's just my luck
to then get busted
staring at her bust
then lose her trust
oh now she's real suspicious
that I only think about what juts
out from her chest namely her

believe me I have tried my best
not to be some vile letch
but I am powerless
in resisting temptation
when in any given situation
if an opportunity should occur
of being able to ogle
over there at her breasts

it is for these
for which I continue for to quest
though it oft-times
seems utterly hopeless
as most women just think I'm a pest
to say nothing about
joining me to get undressed
where, I could get a better look at
yeah, her breasts

on the crest of a conquest
I want the bequest
to please be her guest
by all means make... a mess
all over her breasts

breasts, I do not jest
their shapes have become enmeshed
upon my very consciousness
threatening my equilibrium and wellness
my imagination gives me no rest
and on exposure to them now
my intellectual power plumm-ets
spiralling into an infinite regress

damnable breasts I say
they're horrible monsters like Loch-Ness!
and like Captain Ahab chasing
the White Whale I too am obsessed
by those compelling and comely  breasts

now I have the onus
of saying to their owners
in the tone of this poem
I mean no disrespect in my intent
but my fellow human beings
It is so, so -hard-
to ignore what I've seen

I mean I really just could
spend whole days gazing
stunned and open-mouthed
'cause they're amazing
pondering those magnificent
works of art that are
so close to both our hearts

your breasts.


I've been a bit quiet on the blog for the last few weeks for two reasons, firstly I've been getting the album ready for a major launch in Melbourne sometime in July, including getting a whole series of these videos done. Secondly because I've been performing (and will be performing a lot more in the next few weeks). There are some great gigs coming up. Please my good friend Benjamin Solah's site Melbourne Spoken Word (

Tonight for example (Saturday May 18th), I'm teaming up with Amanda Anastasi, Steve Smart, Benjamin Solah, Santo Cazzati and Kerry Loughrey for their first official gig, hosted in Conduit Arts, on Brunswick Street Fitzroy.

It's gonna be a great gig, all-star line up, hope you can make it down!



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