until they walk off
until the music stops
until the battery dies
the place shuts
and the breath mutters
until the empty wallet
until late until cold
until lights come up
and a candle goes out
until night shakes it's grip
on the hard high-ground
until huge with so-alone
until hands hit pockets
until mouth makes a fist
until eyes speak like teeth
until an empty cup slump
until the new stains growl
until old lies wash through
until the cannots and will-nots
swallowed hole and hitting bone
smashed until cracked up lips
until spent in hurt until
swelling up to bruises
until that proves it
across their contained faces
it crawls out until it goes
on
until it stops beating up
before breaking down again
until they fuck off
with their contained faces
until it's the last truth
until this is nothing but,
or just because
it's the only thing left to do
(if you are not seeing a playable video click here for a direct YouTube link)
Another in the new series of clips we've gotten finished, this one filmed at Slamalamadingdong Poetry Slam, (Melbourne), back in mid-2012. (poem text follows below).
KNUCKLE LOVED
I made it hard on myself with less than amazing grace I have raged bleeding off pages head-cased on over a hundred stages in front of complete strangers scaring the shit out of them then having to hand it back in a stinking-stupid balancing act apologising to the emotionally comatose living TV highlight life supported on a bland diet of early nights I have conquered entire words swallowing my smile back fulcruming back my foolhardy into muscle and more muscle done push-ups on the sun up sweated the lead out cracked ribs while laughing and made midnight wince at seeing me again I fucked the holes in my story ate her out with knuckle loved hunger glared obnoxious at every curved part that bodily separated us from our true stories wanted her so bad that it was... bad punched that pain of that into myself tried using the bruise to feel like maybe somehow (ow) we really connected died of embarrassment to see if suicide is painless or just another of life's creative processes bargained believing in no pain no gain no matter how often I was subsequently short-changed I have paid my dues into black then demanded some bloody payback when it was my shout voiced stereo to eleven screaming god-fucken-dammit right into the heart of heaven read every religious book back to itself like a lullaby believing I had shed myself of every belief in spirited arguments with alcoholic ghosts broke the light bulb in my brain while beating my head against every wall I could find out there to blame to get this gravel in my voice I travelled the world and girl I made it hard on myself kept it up to die trying bell tolled with a taken cake but I'm telling it straight screwed the pooch in a glass house blew my chances given a toss gambled and lost then went slept it off shit where I've eaten to then eat shit had to cut the crap boat rocked judgement snapped but in all that I have never ever done anything anything that could stop me thinking about you."
While I try keeping this blog as an outpost for my actual work and not just another arm to promote it, this Sunday I'm involved in something so fundamentally uh, fundamental to that work that it deserves a special mention:
This Sunday Anis Mojgani is doing a performing at a poetry event in Melbourne and I somehow begged, pleaded and threatened my way into getting on the lineup. And had them throw in Steve Smart with me for good measure. This is like if a boxer got to do a show fight with Mike Tyson or Muhammad Ali. Though I fully expect to walk away with less bruises and both my ear lobes. Steve and I are that ambitious.
Below is the first clip of Anis Mojgani poetry I ever saw, years ago and back in those salad days when I still took slam oh-so seriously. I know Anis' work has moved on significantly since then, but I think this clip still illuminates why I'm excited to be seeing, let alone performing at, an event with this man:
(if you're not seeing a playable YouTube window above click here)
I'm also really excited to be part of/associated with Global Poetics tour again, who in 2011 brought out other slam poetry giants Ken Arkind and Jive Poetic (and I'm also really-really excited not to have to fly to Sydney, back from Thailand to be on the marquee this time, anyway...). As well as Anis Mojgani GP is also being back Ken Arkind, his friend Carrie Rudzinski, and backing them up with other local talents like Michelle Drabowski and Freya Dougan-Whaite. It's going to be a great fucking show, sho 'nuff.
On a more personal note, and reflecting back on the differences between now and 2011, I honestly feel a lot more ready for this. When I met the mighty Shane Koyczan, I was so intimidated that I went out of my way to show how not-intimidated I was, and yep, made a complete dick of myself off stage.
I don't flatter myself that the pendulous vagaries of my insecurity verses egocentricity, is much better under control, only that I do the duck-gliding-smoothly-on-water-while-paddling-furiously-below act a little better than I might have two years back.
SO I HAD THIS IDEA (AND THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN, READER):
I know I'm going to say something stupid to this Anis guy, like I did with Shane Koyzcan, like I still do every time I bump into Emilie Zoey Baker or someone else I'm a flat-out admirer of. So why not just accept this as given, resign myself to it and furthermore, have a bit of fun with this. So I'm putting this out to you, dear reader: give me a suggestion of what I can say, something heinously stupid, something self-sabotaging-ly awful, something completely random to say to Anis Mojgani when I meet him.
THE WINNER (BEST SUGGESTION I LIKE) GETS A FREE PRE-RELEASE COPY OF MY NEW ALBUM:
Try and get creative here, but punchy and short is the key. I've already accused him directly on facebook of repeatedly sending me naked pictures of himself, so you've got a good head start right there. Send your suggestions to: randallstephenspoetry@gmail.com
Meanwhile, I hope to see you in Footscray on Sunday, while Smarty and I are up there trying to lower the tone. For a link to the facebook event click here.
(Though more importantly to book tickets for it click here)
The infamous mammary glandular rant by Randy (text follows below -so you can sing along at home). Edited by Alex Scott. Performed as part of feature I did for the lovely folks up in Brisbane last year.
if you are not seeing a playable video windowclick herefor a direct YouTube link
BREASTS!
breasts are the best oh yes I'm talking about breasts and the time has now come to confess how impressed I am with their shape their firmness there's really no contest for where else my eyes could get (stuck) and ah it's just my luck to then get busted staring at her bust then lose her trust oh now she's real suspicious that I only think about what juts out from her chest namely her breasts believe me I have tried my best not to be some vile letch but I am powerless in resisting temptation when in any given situation if an opportunity should occur of being able to ogle over there at her breasts it is for these for which I continue for to quest though it oft-times seems utterly hopeless as most women just think I'm a pest to say nothing about joining me to get undressed where, I could get a better look at yeah, her breasts on the crest of a conquest I want the bequest to please be her guest by all means make... a mess all over her breasts breasts, I do not jest their shapes have become enmeshed upon my very consciousness threatening my equilibrium and wellness my imagination gives me no rest and on exposure to them now my intellectual power plumm-ets spiralling into an infinite regress breasts! damnable breasts I say they're horrible monsters like Loch-Ness! and like Captain Ahab chasing the White Whale I too am obsessed by those compelling and comely breasts now I have the onus of saying to their owners in the tone of this poem I mean no disrespect in my intent but my fellow human beings It is so, so -hard- to ignore what I've seen I mean I really just could spend whole days gazing stunned and open-mouthed 'cause they're amazing pondering those magnificent works of art that are so close to both our hearts your breasts.
___________________________________________
I've been a bit quiet on the blog for the last few weeks for two reasons, firstly I've been getting the album ready for a major launch in Melbourne sometime in July, including getting a whole series of these videos done. Secondly because I've been performing (and will be performing a lot more in the next few weeks). There are some great gigs coming up. Please my good friend Benjamin Solah's site Melbourne Spoken Word (http://www.melbournespokenword.com)
Tonight for example (Saturday May 18th), I'm teaming up with Amanda Anastasi, Steve Smart, Benjamin Solah, Santo Cazzati and Kerry Loughrey for their first official msw.com gig, hosted in Conduit Arts, on Brunswick Street Fitzroy.
It's gonna be a great gig, all-star line up, hope you can make it down!
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