Friday, May 14, 2010

All Told -15/05/2010

Don't tell me
I'll feel better
when I wake up

I know that.

Like the Billy Joel song said
that's a long time away
and right now
it's -right now-
always is
and I won't
be ready for bed
for a while yet.

Don't tell me
this isn't the same sleepless night
I keep coming around to
now by the thousands
don't tell me to forget about it
don' tell me hope isn't a joke
a curse
nor a vice.

You can't argue against these long hours.

Don't tell me
to calm down
to cheer up
I'm all grown up.

But tonight,
I remember fire breathing
adolescent rage
I remember it like an old bedroom
crammed full of my story
like you'll never catch me smiling
one time
I remember walls that won't talk back
black and white
remind me all those resolutions
remember really righteous in my indignation
like I proved it so irrefutably
can't you see
that whole of the world's against me.

Don't tell me
man grow up
supposed to suck it up
not supposed to give up
no matter how fed up
watching it all break up
break out against my now armour-plated-iron age.

Desperate for the touch
of another
not forthcoming
tonight I can feel... that.

A subject too touchy to sleep on
don't want to dull this with a drink
thrash it out with another bike ride
distract it with a DVD
scour phone contacts for a plan B.

Don't tell me anything else,
I want
to be my own hero
the only number you can't divide
multiplied by itself
and multiplies,
yet remains itself

The one and only,
the one I want to be
don't tell me
how stupid this is.

Don't try and tell me a damn thing
when all I have
in front of me
is tonight.

Don't tell me that what I got ~tonight
won't hold
because all told
I don't have to tell you
that I need
something to hold on to.

And behind my back
don't tell this tonight
as it's holding me now,
a little rough, but still like a lover
that I don't want
to sleep with it.

I feel tonight's vice grip
remembered rage
it will stop me drifting back
into that
pleasure of forgetting
the same mistakes,

That got me here in the first place.


" I have a love,
the likes of which you could scarcely imagine
and a rage,
the likes of which you would not believe.

If I
cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge
the other."

-Mary Shelley's Frankenstein




msdebbie said...

I know nights like these
Peace out eh
And you've totally made me want to re-read Frankenstein again - no small feat

dead sheep said...

Can relate to this very muchly. The quote at the end sums it up perfectly. Great poem.