Wedgie -(Redux 13/06/2013)

.

in between elbows and cold shoulders
between the low notes your ears pick up
and the dim lighting you hide in
in between two tables
and half empty glasses, left standing

between the funk of low self esteem
and your own sweaty desperation
between needs being hideous
and wants being wanton
between Monday and Friday
adolescence and burn out
aborted efforts and all that blame
the lurch back into needy
and the certain knowledge
that your self knowledge
will not save you
from these nights

in between supposing
this new supposed nerd-chic vogue
will sustain conversations about
The Matrix trilogy
and your failed test deployment
that drops into nodding
as they walk off
into mumbled excuses

in between the time your toes felt frozen
looking up at Everest with your own eyes
and the jagged rip your mind makes
just trying to peel yourself
off your couch cushions

in between backslides by the decade
avalanching at you out the mirror
unattractive utterly
and affection you know
you'll never get
reflect
that  you'll never show
the tantrums y'wanna throw
and... well, not doing that

moronic and mad and made
between being hard enough to survive
and trying so hard to be soft
to be open enough to get out of it

in between the few scattered loves
and so much hate left land fill-
-in between the vacant stares
and that rambled awful
you just keep
fucken
mouthing
out
digging
into
trying to fill an emptiness
left

in between alcoholic over-sharing
and conversations that slipped
through your fingers
as they become wall-fused knuckles

~in between all these things
y'missed it but your mate Lonely
stopped by

apologetically had to leave
like you, he struggles
suffering with being maybe more
than just a little bit awkwardly -shy-
so didn't want to interrupt you
in the middle of something
so brutally-beautiful
buddy but
he  said
to say


hi

_____________

-Peace.