Impersonation -30/08/2012

.

funny how seriously

we take ourselves

silly-looking

wearing my conviction

out

like a rental suit

I couldn't afford

to get any more shit on

it never fit, right

must've looked ridiculous

like a misspelled number

thumbs up opposable

with nobody even noticing

(looklooklook)

it’s me

seriously

again

fit in tailor made

expectations

trying to look

good
trying to look
strong
trying to look
like I don't care
what I look like

trying to look like
I don't need you
trying to look like
I don't need you

to save me

so that you will

please

save me

or
if you can’t

can you at least

stop me

stop me
from trying

to stop you

from noticing

I feel so stupid all the time

...and it is stupid

seriously

I know you can't save me

I don't know if I need saving
I don't even know

what it is
I need saving from

maybe I just need to strip off 

unsuitable convictions

and roll around naked in the shit

laugh at how funny 

everyone else looks

for bothering to watch me

I don't know

where I'm going with this

or where that leaves us

and sorry for taking you

to such a strange space

you're itching to leave I know

but look seriously lost

well I know

the way out

and can

take you with me

just as long

as you can

promise



not to take me seriously

_________________________

-Peace

.

My Share -28/08/2012

.


standing in the kitchen
quiet
with time to think...






take away.





__________________________________

-Peace






.

Because -27/08/2012

she’s a woman not a girl
a call not a text
she is coffee not tea
definite yes not a maybe

brown sugar not white
she’s films not actors
books not authors
she's bikes not cars
a cyclist not a fix-ster
and a cyclist
not a lycra-ist

late not early
she's boots not heels
jacket not a trench coat
a hat not hairspray
a comb not a brush
gig not a footy game
cynic but not a snob

cute not ditzy
clear not uh, vague
she’s window not aisle
fearless not fragile
suggestion not gesture
speaking not just talking
listening not pausing
nodding not yawning
smiling not smirking
laughing not offended

and she’s touchy not... touchy

staying not running
she is staying, not running
present in the present
kneading not biting
rubbing not scratching
she’s fingers not nails
heads not tails

she's stockings not tights
sensual not eventual
tease then a taste
neck not the waist
on attack not flat-back
into you
being into her
and she's vocal about it
clitoral taken literal
but she's not yours
for the taking

'cause she is real, not a play thing

open but not invulnerable
trusting not gullible
strong not indestructible
sympathetic not doormat-able

she's nurturing but not y'mother
there for you not y'saviour
has needs not needy, like you
she takes effort, not easy

contradictory not crazy
intuitive not rational
has limits not militant
feminist not femi-nazi
alive if not life-of-the-party

she's mostly, but not always
and awkward, a little, under praise
demanding not demure
commanding
and sometimes she's insecure

she knows her shit
enough not to take it
she's pimples and sweat
not hairless
without history
not a victim
or submissive
not passively gonna wait for you

to grow up
if y'take too long

because she's verses
not just the chorus
of this song
in so many words
that you, boy
need to learn


she is a woman, not a girl.






___________________












-Peace











.

Accelerant -15/08/2012

.



no matter how late
or how far
this road goes

no matter how cold
lost or fast
the car seat gets you

no matter the mileage
barb wire you wrap
around the memories
or weapons-grade words
now stockpiled

to stay safe from her

you will never outrun
your rear view mirror

screaming open window
lyrics like accusations
but no matter how much
you get the music
to try eating the speakers

you can't starve out lonely



with angry






_____________________________

-Peace






.

Randall's Wedding Poem -15/05/2012

.

No I didn't get married.  Yes I know the title's worded ambiguously.  This poem's actual title is "I Glove You" from an in-joke between my sister Carolyn and her partner Chris who, yes, did get married back in May.

Since I just got my hands on some of the photos from the wedding I thought it might be nice (yes, nice. Randall can be nice y'know... fuck you), to put up the poem I read at their reception.

I wore a kilt, and wore it well, if I do say so myself. Anyway, here's what-else I said on the day:

you don’t need anyone to tell you about love

there’s no trick to it
though with a wedding’s onset you might think
that having a poet in the family
is suddenly useful 
like when moving house then remembering 
that mate of yours ...who has a van
but as it stands

there’s really not much more I can tell you
about love

still some may say there’s a need for fancy words
you’ve heard poets dress up love
with pretty flowers puffy clouds running rivers
waxing about glass half fool moons
and ...stuff 
but love?

look folks I’m just a visitor here myself

one who comes in forgetting to wipe his feet
muddy on the nice rug lugging his baggage
mumbling love? bah-humbug

so you don’t need me to tell you about love

not if you’ve ever once been there
stealing a shy look across a crowded room
scribbled someone’s initials
into the margins of your notebook
ever daydreamed up excuses to talk to them
then shy st-st-tuttered
felt your heart flutter

if you’ve eaten a can of soup for one
more than once
if you ever missed someone
missed them like they were the last train
and it’s a long work home, alone

if you’ve ever wanted 
a 'you' to change to an 'us'
found someone that you want to stick to
like an alibi
if you’ve wanted to hold onto them
like they’re a last fistful of coins
needed for the ticket
then you got it right
there’s nothing I can say in change...

if you’ve ever argued
to the far side of a closed door
yelled down your phone
drove angry and slept in your car
you’ve had enough break-make-shake ups
to be able to face up to this...

Chris
if you insist on marrying
this sister of mine
you’re gonna need to find
a bulletproof patience
a set of ears hard enough
to grind down diamonds
occasionally like ET
you’ll need to phone home
because women can seem sometimes
 like they come from a different planet

Carolyn
 if you’re going to marry Chris... 
go easy on him, he’s a guy
it takes us a little while
to figure stuff out
ok sometimes it’s even slower that that
more like watching slow-motion replays
of paint drying
but we’re trying to get there
meet him half way

there are nights
you will want to tear the house in half
from each other but there’s room for that
this is a riff on happily ever after
you’ll have some goods days
others will be harder
and at those times  if you need a marker
just look back to your mother and father

because they made it
you will to

you have someone to grow old with
someone to go with
grow bold with

all I know about is love is
how little I know
to keep it simple
for love to work no fancy words~
merely a smile
in good working condition
y'just need to have a pulse
pumping a heart big enough
that it has space for a table for two
with no reservation
oh you can still quibble
over split bills
share the thrills of hearing
your future-children shrill
over spilt milk

Chris and Carolyn
youz aren’t children anymore
now you know the score~
"be excellent to each other"

it’s everything already known
you didn’t need me
to write this poem,
you got a whole room full of people
who love and we love
that you guys love each other

okay now I’ve just taken time to tell you
that you didn’t need anyone to tell you
about love but..

that is
just as long as you two remember
what you already know about love
and you keep telling that


to one another

____________________________________________







Yes, not my usual thing. At least there's one poem now I can show to the girls at work without looking like a complete psychopath, misogynist or manic-depressive.








-Peace











.

Escapist Playlist -1/08/2012

.


she hides inside headphones
that say everything she wants
to the outside world

head down swaying slow
silent eyes seeing no need
for conversation

the remix of my nameless generation
she's an unshared anthem
gigabytes away from shit-scared
in a playlist escape attempt
from our noise
tapping-out her pulse in screen fingers

wordless
I just watched the way wires
waved gently amongst her hair
wanting to tell her
that she would have looked pretty


had she actually been here

_______________________

-Peace

.